IS WENDY WILLIAMS THE NEXT OPRAH?

One night I happen to be flipping channels (a rarity) and I paused at the Wendy Williams Show. The one time I had seen a portion of it, I thought she was a train wrecked amazon on tv. She smacks her lips constantly when she talks and inserts “um” every five words. How could she have gotten a show?

Truthfully, I’ve never been a fan of hers but my mom and several of my friends LOVE her. Her radio show was pretty grimey – one that consistently played people – and now she has an evening talk show.

I watched, trying to figure out what folks saw in the show. I was unimpressed but noticed that her lineup is better than I would have expected. Ol’ Smokey Robinson performed; some white guy from a new NBC drama appeared; the host of Extra (I think) was on; the hold on to every morsel of fame king, Bill Bellamy cracked jokes, yucking it up with Wendy. Now, she’s not Oprah and not certainly not Tyra with her ‘keeping it real,’ no makeup shows (sigh…) but Wendy does have a certain quelque chose sur son which makes her show sort of interesting. She’s a clown and damn proud of it. You can just imagine her snapping her fingers, rolling her eyes and head, and cursing out some audience member because they did something unwise during her studio time and for that, folks watch her show. While I find some of her mannerisms over the top, there’s something interesting in the cavalier way she presents her show. She flips through notes at the beginning, rapidly scanning the pages to ensure that she delivers the right gossip. While annoying, I kind of like seeing her stuttering around the show unlike all the other hosts.

Is she going to move to ABC and fill Oprah’s slot? Probably not because mainstream America would balk at her and Wendy’s too unconventional to control but for what she’s doing on UPN (channel 9 is still UPN, right?), keep keeping on.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy “Baller” Ice

HOLD IT SUMMER, I WASN'T DONE WITH YOU YET

Does anyone else feel like summer cheated him or her? The weather was horrible in June and most of July. August came around and folks were feenin’ for fun but even then, people were afraid to plan fetes in fear of dismal weather, like last weekend. Of course, Habana heads were never deterred, standing around in stilettos and/or tank tops with bike helmets to eat greasy sandwiches, corn or drink Coronas. Habana even hired some big muscular looking brothers to wear super tight black T-shirts that read, “SECURITY.” A la ghetto…

My calendar was full but I there were lots of days, weekends especially where I felt I had to press my way to party. Other people concurred because they were going hard, laughing extra loud, overstaying their welcome, and asking if anyone knew of other events. Nope. LOL. I look forward to being kissed by the sun when I wake up every summer morning but instead, I had more “Urgh” rain-filled moments, usually reserve for winter. On top of that, there was a shortage of shorties.

I thought this summer was going to be on and poppin’ but it wasn’t…not like my other summers were. I want a refund! A re-do! I have hot outfits that never made it to bbq’s, searsucker suits for soirees and pum pum party shorts that I hang forlornly in my closet. Why summer!!?!? Why!?!?

I’m not trying to bemoan, any long anyway, because September is here, though the last two weeks could have been fall in my book. This weekend, I’m trying to make the best of it but already, I feel like staying indoors with ice cream and a movie. Sigh…so long summer…

Enjoy Labor Day weekend!

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy “Baller” Ice

HOTEL OR FRIEND'S HOUSE?

Recently, a male acquaintance (Dale) asked my opinion on this scenario: My girlfriend and I are traveling to Florida and my buddy said we can stay at his place. My girlfriend is beefing about it. What do you think?

Of course it wasn’t as simple as Dale made it seem. After intense questioning, he finally admitted that:

1. He and his girlfriend may have to sleep on the floor but he believes his buddy (Janson) has carpet. In response, I said what self-respecting grown woman is going to want to leave her bed to make a bedroll on the floor of her boyfriend’s friend’s house? Besides that, carpet causes rug burns. He countered that camping involves sleeping on the floor. Yes, in the woods, in a sleeping bag with my boo. Actually, I would take an inflatable bed. That’s the closest I’m getting to the ground.

2. Janson has a roommate. Clearly Dale isn’t thinking about getting laid. I mean, does he expect his girlfriend to prance around in a negligee when there are two strange men in the house? Sexiness aside, if they’re staying in the living room, she’ll have to walk out in a towel and then get dressed there. One bathroom, one woman, three men. Need I say more?

3. Dale doesn’t believe in wasting money. Since Dale and his girlfriend would need to remain at the hotel two or three days, that could cost $200 - $300 and that’s the MAX because this brother is not springing for the Ritz Carlton or W. Dale’s logic is simple – that’s almost what he spends in monthly rent so it’s idiotic to spend that on a few days, mere hours.

4. If he doesn’t stand his ground, this could be a deal breaker. Clearly, they have other issues to combat because I don’t see this as a big deal. If he was on his last dollar, I could understand the scrimping but that’s not case. On top of that, when they dine out, they go to iHop. Sigh…

Would you let a friend and their significant other stay with you? I think back to the times I’ve stayed with friends and it’s been very select people because I don’t like being somewhere, feeling like I have to abide by house rules. In a hotel, I get up whenever, watch whatever, and downright lollygag. In my boyfriend’s friend’s house, I can’t see it.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy “Baller” Ice

HOW MUCH IS YOUR EGG WORTH?

For reasons unnecessary to this blog, I wound up in a conversation about sperm donors. Using trusty craigslist.com as my source, I quickly learned that sperm donors were no longer popular. In fact, my search returned with none. I guess men are so busy giving it away for free that the sperm banks were full.

For some reason I thought sperm donation paid $500 - $1,000. Men throw it in the garbage or flush it down the toilet for free so I suppose $1,000 was a big come up. Anyway, plugging in the keyword "donor" resulted in multiple listings - for women. I was flabbergasted when I read $7,000 and up for eggs! What?! There were even ads that specified African American or Jewish eggs! You know what I could do with that money right now? Having recently had a fertility conversation with my gyno, I knew I had quite a bit of eggs to spare but would I want to sell my “x” dough?

I knew selling my eggs would never be my option. It just seems unnatural but I know many folks in tight spots right now and $7,000 could help some launch a dream business, catch up on bills, take a vacation, do home repairs or pay their child's tuition. Money aside, I'm sure there are quite a few families that would appreciate the egg donation, considering they're probably paying a small fortune for a baby.

With so many babies and children in dire need of adoption though, is filling out forms and having your child come in contact with a petri dish first, the best option? What say you? Also, check out the ad below…a real one posted by Paul!

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy “Baller” Ice

Please help me start my family!!

I'm a single man looking for an anonymous egg donor for gestational surrogacy. $12,000.

HAVE YOU NOTICED that all the agencies with postings here are offering to pay you about $8,000-$10,000? Well, they want to charge me $15,000 and keep the rest for themselves. I'd like to offer you $12,000 directly (plus all your expenses). Instead of helping an egg donor agency make money, please let's help each other!

About me:

I’m a writer who, believe it or not, used to write greeting cards for Hallmark (fun!). I’ve also written for Cosmo, Glamour and lots of other magazines. Now that I’m a freelance writer, I earn a good salary that lets me work from home, usually not more than 20 hours a week. Which means I’ll be both a working parent and a stay-at-home dad, emotionally but also physically present in my child’s life.

I recently spent several years trying to adopt a child from Vietnam. But the U.S. government abruptly shut down the program last September and—just like that—my Vietnam adoption ended. It was heartbreaking. That’s when I started exploring surrogacy. And the more I learned, the more I fell in love with the idea. Such a miraculous way to become a parent!

I have a surrogate. I just need to find a donor, preferably in the NY area, hopefully you! Does this describe you?

1. Super intelligent, with first-rate college credentials, grades and test scores to prove it. Sorry, but ABSOLUTELY no exceptions whatsoever.

2. Attractive. Of course it's subjective. So, while you can certainly stay anonymous, I will need to ask for photos.

3. In good physical health. Also, please be aware that you'll have to pass the clinic's medical, genetic and psychological screening.

Obviously I will ask for a fair amount of background information, but nothing that will force you to identify yourself. You can remain COMPLETELY anonymous! Just be sure to correspond with me from an anonymous email address (if you don't have one, they're very easy to set up at yahoo.com or gmail.com). I'll respond from an anonymous one as well. If we decide to work together, I'll refer you to my IVF clinic in Southern Connecticut---and they too will completely protect your anonymity.

Thanks for reading. I hope I hear from you!

HOUSE PARTY

I love a house party, especially the potluck kind. Remember when those existed? Your gracious host would provide the space, music and good-looking, intelligent friends who would swing through for a great time. Someone would bring some slammin’ mac and cheese, another couldn’t fry the chicken just right so KFC or Popeye’s made the menu along with dinner rolls, chips and dips, salads and whatever you favorite dish you were willing to bring. The key to the event was good company.

In 2009, things done changed. I’ve noticed all summer that folks hosting cookouts required guests to “bring a bottle.” Required? It’s not like they’re spot is some high-falutin, pretentious New York City club where two bottles of Grey Goose is required for table service. For Pete’s sake (who is Pete anyway?), it’s a home, maybe even yours so why is liquor mandatory?

I’m not one to indulge in alcohol so I would feel mildly annoyed by the obligation of bringing a “little sumthin’ sumthin’” bottle that’s not going to quench my thirst, much less make the back of my throat. The dollar amount isn’t the issue; it’s the principal. If someone invites me over, I’m cool with bring something but does it always have to be a bottle? And isn’t the entire purpose of the event to socialize? Does it always have to involve the inebriation factor? I guess I’ve been having a good time without the liqs that the bottle requirement seems well, a bit much. If guests were showing up to every house party or cookout with tofu patties and a box of powdered eggs from their local food pantry, that would be another story.

Next thing you know, the hosts will have a dress code to come in their crib: no timbs, doo-rags, uncollared shirts. Stylish is a must. No exception.

After buying my last bottle of wine, I started showing up with plastic cups, ice, and/or juice. And guess what, it was useful. Occasionally, I even showed up with my long hands swinging. LOL. The hosts didn’t need anything at all. In fact, some even wound up with an arsenal of liquor. I suppose they’ll hold it for a more exclusive fete or drink themselves into a stupor, OR, OR, hold onto the liqs until another person invites them to a bottle-only party. That way, they can tap their own cabinet.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy “Baller” Ice

I DON'T HAVE IN MY TEETH +

Story #1

I ran into my neighbor recently and before I could ask her how she was doing, she garbled, "I don't have in my teeth. You have to excuse me.". Of course immediately, I started to stare while trying not to chuckle. She seemed embarrassed, trying to cover her gums with her top lip which only made the conversation more awkward and her words more jumbled.

Again, I tried not to stare but I wanted to see the color of her gums. Where they a healthy looking pink or was she a black gum mouth? As she mumbled along I wondered why she ventured outside of her house without her dentures and dared to apologize. It wasn’t as if she was taking out garbage or ran to open the door for the UPS person. It was a bright, hot sunny Saturday and she was standing outside of her gate/fence like security for the block but it apparently didn’t cross her mind that she would run into anyone that would want to talk to her.



Story #2

Euphoric from a fabulous weekend, the only thing I wanted to do was rest mine tired eyes, until an acquaintance offered to take me home. I was not about to pass up a free ride (my other option was a taxi) so I willing went. After a quick conversation in the car, I was about to make my exit strategy when ol’ boy asked if he could come to my place to use the bathroom. “What the frig?! We just left an event and he was two feet from the bathroom and all of a sudden the piss just hit him!?!?” Always gracious, I said, “Certainly.” Forty-two seconds later he emerged from the bathroom and hung around the kitchen. Then we waltzed into the living room and I offered him a drink, to be, once again gracious. Do you know this brother plopped himself down until 1 am! I had to ask him to leave three times and with the last request firmly said, “I’m trying to be nice and avoid saying get the frig out of my house so it’s time that you leave.” Grief…LOL

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy "Baller" Ice

I DON'T

I don’t. I don’t want to marry you. Not yet anyway. That’s what I heard this morning on Regis & Kelly. Yes, I watch the show before work. Regis was out hosting Who Wants To Be A Millionaire so some dude was co-hosting with Kelly. He was rather uninteresting but I tuned in when he started talking about relationships, in a real way. After saying that he proposed to his now-wife in the parking lot of Outback Steakhouse without the permission of her parents, he said they had only been dating three months when he know “she was the one.” Three months? Wow. A brother can’t even have my home number in that time frame.

He went on to say that he couldn’t imagine himself dating someone for more than a year without proposing. Wow. That’s what I’m talking about. He kept talking and eventually said that he couldn’t see himself dating a woman for six years (like the show’s producer, Gelman) then proposing and having a year long engagement (again, like Gelman). Ol’ boy said seven years was too long and quite frankly, he could lose interest in that time as he suffers from ADD. Now, it’s different with his wife because that’s who he committed to go home to each and every night so there’s no reason to be “on the lookout” per se.

At this point in my life, I agree. Seven years? I might as well start college again as a freshman and acquire a double Masters Degree. I’m not saying I want a drive-thru relationship or husband, but I’ve gotten to a place where I know myself – and what I will and will not tolerate. Compromise is good; concessions are not. And let’s be honest – I may look and feel like a PYT but my eggs have a timer on them and seven years out isn’t the best look from where I stand. Besides, these are the best years of my life. I’ve figured out a lot of me and I'll venture to say that most people around me are on the same path to self-wisdom. What would be the hold up in getting engaged and married?

In some regard, I share ol’ boy's sentiments about suffering from ADD or just plain old distractions. If I’m dating someone for four years, chances are, I figured out three years prior that I want to be with him and yet, he’s not sure if I’m “the one?” How much longer should I “hang in there,” waiting for him to get on bended knee? Another four years? That’s ludacrous!

I know men often give their version of valid reasons for not being wedded and bedded. One guy I knew was dating a woman for about 2.5 years and she was waiting for him to pop the question. He didn’t. His reason? He wanted to marry her but he wasn’t together – meaning, he was living with roommates, had incurred a truck load of debt, etc. In his heart and mind, he knew that was the woman he wanted to spend his life with so he changed jobs to earn more, saved, paid off personal debt, bought a townhouse and a truck then proposed in year four. Why did he do all that? He said he didn’t want to offer his fiancée/wife a life in an apartment nor did he want his personal debt to become part of theirs. That made sense but then again, it wasn’t like he was 38; he was 27 when he proposed.

So what am I saying? I’m on the six month plan. In that time frame, I can figure out if the relationship is worth exploring on a more serious level. Six months in, you’ve probably seen the person butt-naked, tasted their so-so cooking, figured out he is a neat-freak, spend-thrifty, calls you every morning to hear your crusty voice, handy around the house, likes to cuddle during sleep, massages your feet like a ritual and, AND, received the thumbs up from friends and family - some anyway. The next six months for me is really organizing my thoughts and figuring out where the relationship is going. Sometime during this point, marriage should come up.

Gotta rock to a meeting folks (clearly I blog during work hours). To be continued tomorrow but chime in so far!!

BTW, the picture above is how sisters BE showing off their ring after waiting so damn long! LOL

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy “Baller” Ice