IF YOU'RE SINGLE, YOU HAVE UNTIL NOVEMBER 15th

See those pictures? I want all of that this year.

Seems like every year, a few select (read: same) girlfriends and I joke about the timeline for meeting someone that would qualify as a winter boo. If the weather in New York is any indication, winter is upon us.

After some catching up, the conversation inevitably turns to relationships and seasons with the discussion as follows:

“Girl, I needs me someone to keep me warm this winter. This comforter isn’t cutting it.”

“I hear you!”

“And the holidays are right around the corner…”

“Exactly! So you have to find someone by Halloween, mid-November the latest because after that it’s a wrap. People are traveling and preparing for the holidays.”

“Not only that, who do I look like inviting Tito to my family’s Thanksgiving dinner after knowing him only two weeks. He may just act the fool.”

For my single folks, it’s already October 16th; do you know who your boo is? If you have a few potentials, figure out who you want to be with for the next few months and put some work into bunning up. Block off more time on his calendar to make sure you’re I there. Fellas, pick her up from work Thursday evening, order in, and watch the season finale of the RHOA (Real Housewives of Atlanta) for major cool points. If by chance, you’re one of the unlucky individual with no prospects, I suggest you step your game up. You can find single folks in the freest places like the Laundromat. Even the baddest chick (let Trina tell it), has to do laundry at some point. Ditto for the brother you’ve seen in the neighborhood coffee shop. Besides that, everyone has to eat – including those that don’t cook. I’m almost certain that they have to buy staples like bread, eggs, turkey bacon, cheese and ice cream. Brothers, walk down the aisle where the sanitary goods are…a woman is bound to be there. ☺

If you’re wondering about Betsy’s status, I have one potential and a new fellow I have my eye on. Both are fuego, but I only have four weeks to get in good with the latter – and make a final decision. I want to play in the snow, sleep in when it rains (thank goodness for 'sick' days), go skiing, and get my neck, my back, and everything else rubbed like that. (shout out to Khia!) Go hard or go home solo dammit! November 15th is almost here so the time for lollygagging is nil!

Disclaimer: please do not feel the need to drop your boo in the spring. If (s)he can be all up in your space playing Scattergories with your crew – and they approve – you may want to keep the relationship going. Also, if you're married, engaged, or booed up already, consider it your duty to help your single friends. Afterall, what husband or wife wants their spouse dragged all around the city or to parties with their single in the city friend? That single friend is messing with your groove.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy “Baller” Ice

P.S. once I’m booed up, I’ll be changing my middle name ☺

P.P.S. my friend, a brother, said if you can't get in good by October, it's a wrap for the gift exchange. If you're trying to seal the deal with him, you only have 15 days...egads! LOL

I DON'T WANT YOUR MAN (Keep my name out of your mouth)

Why is it that some women think that their man is a bag of chips and pretzels and everyone woman is after him? If another woman is bent on being with your man, and he’s down for it, there’s nary a thing the supposedly main woman can do. Fight? Yell? Why bother? He’s wasn’t interested in committing to you so I see no reason to go out of your way to get ghetto because when someone decides they want to be with someone else on the low or just dropping their boo for the next, they move forth without their partner’s permission.

I was inspired to write this blog because a colleague recently broke up with his girlfriend, who I’d never met. This fellow and I were supposed to attend an event together but minutes beforehand I cancelled unexpectedly. I was running way late and showing up thirty minutes late was unacceptable. When he was en route, he left a voicemail saying that his girlfriend had decided to accompany him. That certainly influenced my decision because I felt less guilty for canceling and didn’t bother to press my way. In my responding message I even said I would hang with him and the girlfriend later in the evening but he declined.

I thought the case was closed until the following day he mentioned they broke up. “Just like that?” I thought. Apparently, they were having issues for some time, unbeknownst to me, and last night was the final straw. The interesting part was ol’ girl, whom I’d never met, asked her then-man if he was going on a date with me. Huh? Would a man be so low as to invite his side chick and the main sham to the same event, so they would what, have a cum bah yah? LOL. That’s some real Jerry Springer/Ricky Lake/Maury Povich kind of thing. I didn’t say much to him about it but how is it a woman who has never met me, mentions my name as the other woman? And, aside from this event, her now ex-man and I hung out once! Lest I forget, he tried to hook me up with his buddy – which she knows.

The entire situation seems strange. I mean, I know times are hard in multiple categories but I know for a fact that I don’t play back burner to any other broad. In fact, I can be the girlfriend’s best ally; I value relationships and the last person you have to worry about pushing up on your man is me. In fact, I’ll run interference for you if I see your man trying to holler at the next chick. But then again, if he’s willing to creep, he worth letting go. Lady Saw will have him (that's a reggae song folks..."I got your man and you can't do anything about it!")

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy “Baller” Ice

IS WENDY WILLIAMS THE NEXT OPRAH?

One night I happen to be flipping channels (a rarity) and I paused at the Wendy Williams Show. The one time I had seen a portion of it, I thought she was a train wrecked amazon on tv. She smacks her lips constantly when she talks and inserts “um” every five words. How could she have gotten a show?

Truthfully, I’ve never been a fan of hers but my mom and several of my friends LOVE her. Her radio show was pretty grimey – one that consistently played people – and now she has an evening talk show.

I watched, trying to figure out what folks saw in the show. I was unimpressed but noticed that her lineup is better than I would have expected. Ol’ Smokey Robinson performed; some white guy from a new NBC drama appeared; the host of Extra (I think) was on; the hold on to every morsel of fame king, Bill Bellamy cracked jokes, yucking it up with Wendy. Now, she’s not Oprah and not certainly not Tyra with her ‘keeping it real,’ no makeup shows (sigh…) but Wendy does have a certain quelque chose sur son which makes her show sort of interesting. She’s a clown and damn proud of it. You can just imagine her snapping her fingers, rolling her eyes and head, and cursing out some audience member because they did something unwise during her studio time and for that, folks watch her show. While I find some of her mannerisms over the top, there’s something interesting in the cavalier way she presents her show. She flips through notes at the beginning, rapidly scanning the pages to ensure that she delivers the right gossip. While annoying, I kind of like seeing her stuttering around the show unlike all the other hosts.

Is she going to move to ABC and fill Oprah’s slot? Probably not because mainstream America would balk at her and Wendy’s too unconventional to control but for what she’s doing on UPN (channel 9 is still UPN, right?), keep keeping on.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy “Baller” Ice