Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Welcome Betsy Ice Readers!
Betsy is on a new, fun jaunt this summer. Yup, dating. Remember that antiquated thing that happened between two people mutually attracted to each other? These days some folks try to downplay the process of dating—courtship, communication (sans text messages and BBM), and chemistry—to “hanging out”, like it’s some around the way activity with the homies.
Enough of that I say! It's time for new experiences!
Betsy has a goal this summer: 100 Dates. Memorial Day to Labor Day. Since that time frame is only ninety-eight days, there would have to be some doubling up at least, right? Nope. Initially, I thought to do this project solo—meeting one fellow for an early breakfast before work, lunch with another, then dessert after work—but reminded myself take it easy. That many dates in such a short space of time would lead to much quantity, not quality, and while this really is a social experiment, I have to be mindful and respective of other people’s feelings. This adventure will be nothing short of interesting and gives me the perfect time to start working on my winter boo.
To help me achieve the 100 Dates, some folks signed up to share their dating adventures—and share they did! Some dates will be one-sided—meaning, the information comes from one source; other times I’ll be fortunate enough to have both sides of the story. So folks, every Monday and Thursday will be a new post on dating, counting up to the hundredth date, right up to Monday September 6th--Labor Day. Today is an exception since I was planning to launch yesterday…still working on meeting my own deadlines. :-)
So folks, without further adieu, Date #1 and 2.
Date #1: Daniel went out with Carmen (her take on him/date coming up tomorrow). Daniel is described as intellectual, loving, built like a football player, wants to get married—ASAP!
“Hey Betsy, your girl Carmen just canceled on me,” Daniel said.
“What?” I asked incredulously. Why would she do that, especially for a first date? I thought.
“I don’t know, but it’s cool. We’ll try for another time,” he said.
I was not buying that bunch of bull for a minute. He was excited to meet her. He ended a relationship earlier this year and was starting to feel the loneliness of singledom—and openly disliked it.
Initially Daniel tried to dismiss her canceling as nothing, but judging from the terseness of his words and tense body language, he was upset. I felt bad for him. Who bails on a first date? Ol’ girl Carmen.
After some prodding, Daniel revealed that he was upset. He had gone to work dressed “better than normal” and was excited to meet her.
“Look, she had a good reason (work), but it still doesn’t change the fact that she canceled. At this point, I’m not expecting much from her. I’ll go out with Carmen, because I said I would but she has no brownie points in my book.”
A few days later, Daniel and Carmen connected. He sent me a message that read, I'm feeling your girl! She just called to see if I wanted to do lunch today (I had already eaten) and now she and her girl may do a double date with me and my boy from MA on Saturday. Fierce!
According to Daniel, this was a big redeem. She called him on the fly and he appreciated her apologetic efforts.
On their first date, Daniel described Carmen as hot, beautiful, smart, warm, gorgeous smile, and easy-going as they talked about interests over dinner. He also liked that she traveled to his neighborhood to meet him saying that “no one ever wants to come out here but that changed with Carmen.” By the end of date one, they were planning date two. Rock-climbing.
Betsy's take: Ladies, canceling a first date is not an option. If a brother cancels from the onset, that’s his lost. Act right or exit stage left. Next! Ditto for women. Get it together. BTW, I did concur with Daniel on the good redeem.
Date #2: Savannah James, went on a date with Ade. Savannah James is described as a dreamer, alluring, craves attention, determined, major b-ball fan.
Oooh, Savannah James is a handful. Really. She met Ade at party. They joked around a bit and as the conversation progressed, he said he was Nigerian.
“You’re Nigerian? You don’t look Nigerian,” she continued, later explaining that Ade was “far away” from what she thought and saw. Her experience with Nigerian men led her to believe that they were “button-downed metro sexuals.”
Thank goodness ol’ boy wasn’t offended and they exchanged BBM information. “I know you’re going to call me,” Savannah James added before departing. Though they had spent some time during the party chatting, she had already chalked Ade up to homeboy status. “He was someone to kick it with,” SJ said.
When he did call, they had several commonalities that met her approval. Actually, Savannah James’ approval list had approximately sixty-seven man-must haves. Ade was unmarried and without kids. Check, check. Thirty-eight years old. Just ripe check. Athletic (he played college football). BIG check. And was in a fraternity. Ooh, Savannah James! Check, please! Tats. Check. Though he didn't make sixty-seven yet, ol' boy had checks all over him...hmmm...
Their first date was at sports bar, specifically to watch the Miami vs. Boston game. Boston won. In person again, she thought Ade was really sweet. She felt like he was more a homeboy, especially since they were part of the rowdy group watching the game, but there was a tender side to him she appreciated. During the date, Savannah James confessed to feeling extremely comfortable with Ade which why she fed him French fries on their first date; in return, he sucked the ketchup off her fingers.
It's b-ball finals time so Betsy readers, stay tuned to see what these fry-feeding, finger-sucking, pair do on their next date.
Betsy’s take: Brothers, don’t you dare ask me to suck ketchup off your hands unless you JUST washed them. Hmphf. About the date…don’t knock the Naija men…or get caught up in your own stereotypes.
Date #3 and 4 served tomorrow with Carmen’s side of the date with Daniel and Betsy’s date with Museum Guy.
-Betsy “Baller” Ice