CRY ME BROKE BROTHERS

Okay, fine. Recession. Folks are feeling the pinch in their pockets, grocery items seemed to increase by 50% and Betsy has to go Salon Dominicano where the stylists call me “Mami” instead of my usual expensive ‘sister’ stylist who knows my name. With all this oxymoronic spending more and cutting back, THE LAST THING Betsy wants to hear is a man crying broke. Actually, in west indian terms, it’s “bruk.” What the frig is that? A dutch date?

Brothers, if you’re in the courting stages with a woman, the last thing they, or let me speak for myself, I want to discuss is how hard your times are. I watch CNN, I know the financial industry is collapsing and people are losing jobs in almost every industry, but you can take me out on a date and sponsor the entire event? How about you borrow a few c-notes from your boy because I’m not interested in looking up at a menu; I want to look down.

I’m not against paying but if every conversation revolves around how low your cash flow is, that’s an issue. My electric bill is sky high but I’m not pulling out the statement to show you on our first date. How awkward would it be if I said, “Look, my service interruption date is November 28th. I wonder if ConEd will do a payment arrangement?” LOL. I handles my business (yes, I pluralized) – even if I’m standing in line at the coin change counter at Commerce Bank.

If a man is going to talk for forty minutes straight about how tight he is, the likelihood of a date looks like nil. Not because he’s “bruk” but because dates with him because would entail him coming to my place, complaining some more, watching my cable for free, eating up my Whole Foods food for free then slipping in something about “liking to stay indoors.”

It’s okay to cut back on expenses; just be upfront about it in a non-complaining way and get a little creative. Do these hips look like they need another meal? Don’t answer that. Suggest a cultural activity to your new lady-friend like going to First Friday at a museum where admission is reduced or FREE. Meet for lunch/brunch (less costly than dinner) or, spend some downtime at a bookstore then head to a chocolate bar for desserts. Amazing what you can do in public with tea, chocolate and cantaloupe slices. Finally, if you absolutely have to come to my place because there’s lint and crumbs in your pocket, then bring some microwavable popcorn from your house, along with my favorite movie which you happen to have (or borrowed from a friend) and massage my feet and back the entire time since my spa appointments are cancelled until further notice. Damn cutbacks.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

COMMODE COURTESY

When you’re in a shared bathroom space like work, why is it some people don’t understand how to be courteous? For instance, there are three stalls. You’re in the last one because it’s farthest from the door, sink and anyone else who may enter. Then someone enters. Common courtesy dictates this person take the first stall but not this lady. Runs right into the middle stall. The last thing I want to hear is what a person is dropping next to me.

For some people, it doesn’t matter if there are ten stalls. They’re right next to you.

Men have it even worse. Urinals. A brother is standing at the last urinal and a dude bypasses the other four stalls to stand next to him. What’s up with that?

The worst offenders are those that want to talk to you in your stall from their stall. In the event folks haven’t figured it out, this is my time. I don’t want to talk about what you ate for dinner or gas prices or how Will and Jada look on the cover of Essence. I don’t care. I’m using the bathroom. Talk to me on the outside when the remnants of whatever you’re letting go doesn’t choke me. I can’t open my mouth to talk, much less breathe. My gosh. Eat less curry goat meat or something.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

The recap: Level V. That joint was pumping!

On tap: Brooklyn's newest Friday night party will be bringing the heat this Friday November 21st. Presenting: "Hotter Than July" at the Lowpost
(Habana Outpost Lounge). Another reason to keep it in Brooklyn. 2 floors of red-hot dance, sizzling old school & roasting reggae joints
all night long. DJs The Ahficionados (Deffrei & Reggiment), OP! & July will be stoking the fire & keeping it raging on the 1nes & 2wos.

Admission is $3.
Low Post: 757 Fulton Street corner of So. Portland
9pm to 4am

COMPANIONSHIP DOESN'T EQUAL A RELATIONSHIP

Winter is almost upon us which means frigid months ahead. If you're not "bunned" or "booed" up yet, it may just be too late to get a winter snuggle buddy.

Typically, men start to act crazy around this time - the holidays. They want to holler at you but there's the awkwardness of holidays with family and friends, company soirees and of course, gift giving. Does a man invite the woman he’s been dating for the last three weeks to Thanksgiving dinner with his family since ol’ girl folks are west coast? Or, you tell the person you’re dating how grand your company holiday parties are and you can bring a guest. Do you invite the man you’ve been dating for the last month because he’s full of personality? Or better yet, are you snuggled up together counting down to the new year or should you jet to a tropical isle with your homegirls?

Lastly, there’s the gift giving “situation.” Do you give just because you want to? Is it a little awkward when you give just because and you hear, “Oh, I don’t celebrate Christmas.” Then why did you accept the gifts you $#@&?! Sorry, thinking of a previous situation. DM – the scarf is yours if you ever see it again!

Back to bunning up. Betsy wrote this while laying in bed at 11pm last night and I kept thinking, “It sure is chilly.” The only thing next to me was my blackberry with its blinking light winking at me. I would much rather a lovely brother to snuggle up with than my phone.

To clarify, companionship doesn't equal relationship - as in we're together, boy/girlfriend or partnership. Companionship is someone that Betsy wants to hang out with when it's convenient. Now, a man may call and though it wasn't on my mind to see him, I'm happy to hang out. See folks, conversation + convenience = companionship. For everyone. And no booty calls! It's about spending time with someone you're actually interested in minus the title, obligations of making that person a priority and holiday quandaries. I don’t need to be someone’s girlfriend right now. I just want to get together and have a good time. It’s that simple. I suppose though, when you tell a man that, he has a difficult time processing that information as he believes every woman is a man-eater. Nope. I’m a nibbler. LOL

Seriously though, there are a lot of single folks out there - Betsy included - (sigh) but I have options. We all have options. If the person you're dating is hung up on titles, hang him up and keep it moving. And share the love! if you see someone that looks like your friend's "type", get some contact information on the person and pass it along. A former coworker met his girlfriend like that and now he's married!

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

The recap: being off for Veteran's Day and sleeping late

On Tap: Just Danny Simmons party. Holler!

CANCELING DATES

Recently, someone called Betsy a flake. A %$#@!&* flake – can you believe that!?! Then I thought about it and realized that lately, I’ve been, um, committed to people and events that I just can’t make/meet. Classic superwoman syndrome.

I WANT to attend but I’m so busy doing a zillion things that sometimes when it comes to a social event, I just don’t have the energy or enthusiasm to make it. That’s when bed rock and pillow jam takes precedence.

Sunday past though, I held myself accountable to a prior engagement – a celebratory Obama brunch with the ladies. I was totally committed to meeting up with my friends then I received a message indicating that more than half the group cancelled!?!? Not only was a bit peeved but I was STARVING. I foregoed eating, stacking my hunger up for the hurtin’ I planned to put on buttermilk pancakes and chicken sausages only to find the outing was cancelled. On top of that, I declined another brunch invite saying that I was already committed to another engagement. The self accountability thing really works.

Thing is folks, it’s just not cool to cancel. Of course there are instances where an unforeseen circumstance comes up but other than that, learn to be accountable. If you need improvement in this area, make sure your friends keep you accountable by reminding you about engagements. Too many unjustified cancellations will have you on the no-more invite list.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

The recap – no brunch – obviously but made it out for a bit at a local bar/lounge. The spot was very un-noteworthy but thank goodness the company was entertaining.

On tap: Danny Simmons party Thursday. Holler if you want to rock.