CRY ME BROKE BROTHERS

Okay, fine. Recession. Folks are feeling the pinch in their pockets, grocery items seemed to increase by 50% and Betsy has to go Salon Dominicano where the stylists call me “Mami” instead of my usual expensive ‘sister’ stylist who knows my name. With all this oxymoronic spending more and cutting back, THE LAST THING Betsy wants to hear is a man crying broke. Actually, in west indian terms, it’s “bruk.” What the frig is that? A dutch date?

Brothers, if you’re in the courting stages with a woman, the last thing they, or let me speak for myself, I want to discuss is how hard your times are. I watch CNN, I know the financial industry is collapsing and people are losing jobs in almost every industry, but you can take me out on a date and sponsor the entire event? How about you borrow a few c-notes from your boy because I’m not interested in looking up at a menu; I want to look down.

I’m not against paying but if every conversation revolves around how low your cash flow is, that’s an issue. My electric bill is sky high but I’m not pulling out the statement to show you on our first date. How awkward would it be if I said, “Look, my service interruption date is November 28th. I wonder if ConEd will do a payment arrangement?” LOL. I handles my business (yes, I pluralized) – even if I’m standing in line at the coin change counter at Commerce Bank.

If a man is going to talk for forty minutes straight about how tight he is, the likelihood of a date looks like nil. Not because he’s “bruk” but because dates with him because would entail him coming to my place, complaining some more, watching my cable for free, eating up my Whole Foods food for free then slipping in something about “liking to stay indoors.”

It’s okay to cut back on expenses; just be upfront about it in a non-complaining way and get a little creative. Do these hips look like they need another meal? Don’t answer that. Suggest a cultural activity to your new lady-friend like going to First Friday at a museum where admission is reduced or FREE. Meet for lunch/brunch (less costly than dinner) or, spend some downtime at a bookstore then head to a chocolate bar for desserts. Amazing what you can do in public with tea, chocolate and cantaloupe slices. Finally, if you absolutely have to come to my place because there’s lint and crumbs in your pocket, then bring some microwavable popcorn from your house, along with my favorite movie which you happen to have (or borrowed from a friend) and massage my feet and back the entire time since my spa appointments are cancelled until further notice. Damn cutbacks.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice