I DON'T HAVE IN MY TEETH +

Story #1

I ran into my neighbor recently and before I could ask her how she was doing, she garbled, "I don't have in my teeth. You have to excuse me.". Of course immediately, I started to stare while trying not to chuckle. She seemed embarrassed, trying to cover her gums with her top lip which only made the conversation more awkward and her words more jumbled.

Again, I tried not to stare but I wanted to see the color of her gums. Where they a healthy looking pink or was she a black gum mouth? As she mumbled along I wondered why she ventured outside of her house without her dentures and dared to apologize. It wasn’t as if she was taking out garbage or ran to open the door for the UPS person. It was a bright, hot sunny Saturday and she was standing outside of her gate/fence like security for the block but it apparently didn’t cross her mind that she would run into anyone that would want to talk to her.



Story #2

Euphoric from a fabulous weekend, the only thing I wanted to do was rest mine tired eyes, until an acquaintance offered to take me home. I was not about to pass up a free ride (my other option was a taxi) so I willing went. After a quick conversation in the car, I was about to make my exit strategy when ol’ boy asked if he could come to my place to use the bathroom. “What the frig?! We just left an event and he was two feet from the bathroom and all of a sudden the piss just hit him!?!?” Always gracious, I said, “Certainly.” Forty-two seconds later he emerged from the bathroom and hung around the kitchen. Then we waltzed into the living room and I offered him a drink, to be, once again gracious. Do you know this brother plopped himself down until 1 am! I had to ask him to leave three times and with the last request firmly said, “I’m trying to be nice and avoid saying get the frig out of my house so it’s time that you leave.” Grief…LOL

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy "Baller" Ice