THE PLATONIC FRIEND

Can men and women legitimately be platonic friends?

Recently, I found myself hanging out consistently with a male friend. We were so uber-cool that he was like Betsy’s male-BFF (JM – you’re too far to claim the title). Things were going well; we were all over the place having dinner, checking out concerts and partying together. Then came the push-up; the hugging me a little longer and tighter than necessary, the shoulder rubs and the best one yet, the cock block – invading my personal space when another man was present..or giving me the "eye". Another friend calls it cup-caking. Lol

Men who try the back door policy – hang around until an opportunity to be more than a friend presents itself – can complicate my boundary-filled life. I pride myself on maintaining strictly platonic relationships with men. I’m that chick that’s totally fine with a male friend staying at my house during vacation and vice versa. Stop by for dinner, grab a plate and make yourself comfortable…just know there’s no ESPN watching. If we’re partying together, we can dub or break dance but at the end of the night, you’re going home to your wife or girlfriend hot, sweaty and faithful.

When my almost male BFF tried to push up, I had to shut the brother down. He’s attractive and cool but I can’t imagine myself running home to him every night…or any night for that matter. We can run around the city to “hang” and “chill” but booing up is not an option.

So what did he do? Stop talking to me! What kind of trifling thing is that? To be fair, he didn’t say he’s not speaking to me; he just hasn’t called in a bit and we used to speak everyday. I understand he’s a tad miffed but boundaries have to be respected. Why jeopardize a good friendship for a potential mediocre mate? Outside of our friendship, he would never come up on my radar. Ever.

I thought I was doing him a favor by refuting his advances. I have a friend that would definitely be a better match for him. Betsy is too much woman for him to handle. Ask my exes. LOL.

Off to dinner…solo…at Habana. LOL.

The recap: on lock this week with work

On tap: see previous statement

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

THE BLACK GUMS

Recently, Betsy has been feeling the heat from some folks! A mention here and there of her encounters with other Hatians - friends excluded - and everyone is giving Besty the riot act and surely planning a coup! One person lectured Betsy about the references then laughed at the Trinidadian statement in the next breath. Shame on you! You’re lucky I like you…still on for dinner? ☺ Si, pour le rest de mois, non plus de références a mes peuple d'Haiti. Désolé si mon francais est un petit agite mais t’adore moi en cas! Vive le sak passé posse!

The story: Ran into an acquaintance and as the brother was talking, all I could wonder was why his gums were so dark. I mean, some people have pink gums; some have tan gums but his joint was BLACK, BLACK, BLACK! Black is beautiful but gums? Oh gosh! And to top it off, his teeth, while white, were sharp. Like, if this brother tried to playfully bite his wife’s neck, he would tap her jugular.

Separately, PLEASE read this blog about Dinty Moore soup - http://twotoomany.blogspot.com/. The author is insane!

The recap: Nada…but Betsy’s back on the scene this week.

On tap: Private fashion show at Soho Grand…any takers?

Lata lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

THE ROACHY RESTAURANT

Before I start the story let me sidebar for a moment. I’m stepping up my Ebonics game by watching the Jamie Foxx produced trash show, From G’s to Gents. That joint is HILARIOUS - 12 dudes competing for $100K under the premise that they can leave the 'G' behind and become cricket-playing gentleman with the guidance of Fonzworth Bentley.

My favorite phrase to date is, “He speaks the wellist.” Is that akin to illest or a reference that the next ‘G’ speaks better/more like standard English than other show participants? If you’re watching, please holler!! Thinking about a mid-season party already…my place with mad ‘yak (that’s cognac I discovered).

The story: Peep this..lol. I’m starving and visit a local restaurant. As I wait for my order, I spy a super-sized can of Raid Roach spray. I mean, you can’t miss the Trinidadian-colored can (no malice intended to the red, black and white!!) sitting right under the counter near the drinking glasses – the same water glasses the waiter grabs for each patron as soon as they sit down. Immediately, I feel nauseous but I’m so hungry I would eat sand cookies made in Haiti (really, people are starving out there and eating cookies made of sand and oil…baked right in the sun!)

I didn’t know what to do – cancel the order and find another restaurant or take my chances that a roach didn’t get near the ingredients for my meal. I was so hungry, I couldn’t think. I’m mortified to say that I waited for the order. Pulled up a chair and avoided eye contact with the Raid can. Once I got the food home, I looked at it for a bit…checking for signs of a chopped up roach but didn’t see any. Can’t say I’ll be dining at that place again but for what it’s worth, that meal was good! I likened it to buying sandwiches from bodegas – folks are ordering the works when there’s flies attached to one of those catch-a-fly-with tape things hanging from the ceiling. Now, that’s too much for my tastebuds!

The recap: Watched Black in America and read a lot this week.

On tap: House party for a photographer colleague tonight. May swing by…holler if you’re interested.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

**Also**
5TH AVENUE PRODUCTIONS DEBUTS SECRET SOCIETY STAGE PLAY ARTS BANK THEATRE FRIDAY - SUNDAY

Fifth Avenue Productions in collaboration with Essence Bestselling Author Miasha will debut the theatrical adaptation of Miasha's novel Secret Society at the Arts Bank Theatre at 601 S. Broad Street in Philadelphia starting at 8pm.

Secret Society, the stage play introduces theatre goers to Celess and Tina, two hustling gold diggers whose fast-paced lifestyle came to a sudden halt when their shady past caught up with them. When the guys who are dating Celess and Tina learn that these girls are men- the dangerous game leads to tragedy.

Friday July 25, 2008 @ 8pm Press Preview
Saturday July 26, 2008 @ 4pm Matinee
Saturday July 26, 2008 @ 8pm Red Carpet/VIP night- SOLD OUT!
Sunday July 27, 2008 @4pm Final Show

For more information visit www.myspace.com/secretsocietystageplay and www.miasha.com. Tickets may also be purchased at The Arts Bank Theatre Box Office on the night of each performance, 800-616-ARTS.

Media/VIP guest inquiries contact: Dawn Michelle, 646-872-6678; dawnmichelle.pr@gmail.com

This weeks press coverage:
http://www.centerstagemag.com/kamah_scott_miasha_interview.htm
METRO Philadelphia, Philadelphia Daily News, Philadelphia Sunday Sun, 100.3 The Beat

THE SOUL MATE - DOES THIS PERSON EXIST

Today, I depart from the normal musings/comedy of life to pose this question – do you believe in soul mates? No, this is not about religion or being an evangelist so there’s no need to hang up the phone immediately, shake your fist with fury or stop reading. Just a passage from a memoir I came across and thought to share and please feel free to comment as well –esp the folks married or boo-ed up.

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can’t let this one go. It’s over Groceries. David’s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it.”

The end was an analogy about getting stuck in the same wanting place even when the relationship is over, thus making your life miserable. Hope anyone that has felt that way is happy today. I know I am. ☺

The recap: Ditched NYC for most of the weekend. Shout out to E for participating in an adventure….

On tap this week: Nada. Someone send me some event info yo!!! Is there an event drought??

Lata lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

THE HAIR IS SO NAPPY IT'S KNOTTY

Does nappy hair still exist? Think about it…when was the last time you saw someone with “extremely tight curls”? Nappy hair is the kind that could be coiled around dental floss, not your regular pencil curling iron.

Back in the day, the Hatian kids used to catch wreck at my high school. Make no mistake, some of my dear friends are Hatian (this part doesn’t apply to you people) but you know, some folks’ hair texture is just as illegal as coming to the U.S. on a boat as a stowaway. LOL. Even Africans folks are coming to the states with perms already…SMH…

Brothers nowadays try to disguise hair texture by rocking a baldy. One day, I met up with a male friend who again, always rocked a baldy. Let me tell you this brother’s chest hair was so nappy and peeking out of his open shirt that I wanted to vomit. It looked like his chest was blasted with black lint balls! Really!?!? He could have had the decency to wear a less revealing top (think turtlenecks and crewnecks) or shave it off…and anywhere else that looked like that! Goodness!

Shout out to the person that this post :-)

The recap: Prospect Park picnic with 1,500 folks. Brothers standing in the same spot 4 – 8 pm cradling a beer and nodding their head to every song. There may have been more men than woman…imagine that…and none of them thought to bring a football and do something. Breezed in, chatted with a few folks and left. Of course, the pseudo‘after party’ was at Habana. My peoples said it was still going strong until 12:45 a.m. this morning. Hope someone got some digits after all that hanging out. ☺ Shout out to everyone I ran into...you know who you are.

On tap this week: NY Philharmonic in Prospect Park tonight. Mid-summer bday soiree at Earth in NYC Friday. Holler if you want to rock. Harriet’s Alter Ego fashion show Saturday…details to follow.

Lata lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

TOES...BOOMERANG DID IT

Boomerang was the worst thing to happen to women. Prior to this flick, women were quite fine getting occasional spa pedicures or just polishing their toes themselves but then ol' Eddie Murphy had to make a big deal out of bunions. Who cares what a woman’s feet looks like? What happened to personality?

The other day a man practically knocked me over to get my attention. He said I had pretty toes. Of course I do. Boomerang wasn't about me. ☺

But, there is a gross misconception between toes and feet. Corns, bunions and fat feet are typically unattractive but that doesn’t mean a woman’s toes can’t be pretty. It’s like saying, “Pretty face but ol’ girl is obese.” Or, “Scottie Pippin has a tight body but please put a brown bag over that man’s head.”

I saw a woman recently wearing fancy sandals (at the Laundromat no less). Her toes were gleaming with brightly colored nail polish but upon closer inspection, her fourth toe was practically sitting on top of the pinky one. And it was like 1/3 the size of the pinky toe. Clearly a deformity.

See, men (and some women) get caught up in toes/feet but you can only tell if a person’s feet is busted in the summer. In the winter, you have to wait until the right situation presents itself where the socks and shoes are off. And let's be clear - men have busted feet too. I have pictures to prove it!

Back to ol’ girl. My first thought was “Eww.” But then stopped. Again, who cares? It’s her husband’s job to suck her toes and massage them feet. Don’t front brothers… I know I LIKE that…LOL

Anyway, chill on the feet discrimination and remember that Iman said, “I’m beautiful from the ankle up.” Check the links below for pictures of Iman and Keri Hilson's feet.

On tap this week: MIH picnic in Prospect Park (main lawn close to Grand Army Plaza entrance) on Sunday. Free food, drink, music and even more Fort Greene-Clinton Hill I’m-so-unique-creative-and-cute-but-wearing-a-fedora-like-everyone-else-types. For after party details, refer to the ‘TIS LESS THAN SIX DEGREES post last month about Habana Outpost. The folks who didn’t get enough of ‘folks’ will again be chilling at Habana…after they just spent the day chilling at Prospect Park. Guess I’ll see you there… ☺

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

Iman’s feet
http://www.mediatakeout.com/5096/dayum_graphic_pics_of_the_bunions_on_imans_feet.html

http://concreteloop.com/?p=12690&cp=3

Keri Hilson’s feet
http://necolebitchie.com/2008/04/14/your-feet-mo-famous-than-you/

TITTIES...

…I despise that word. Every time I hear it, in most cases coming out of a man’s mouth (LOL), it’s like the sound of nails being raked across a chalkboard for an hour. I was chatting with some folks recently and one man and one woman kept saying, “titties” over and over and over like it was the word of the day. At one point I thought I would vomit.

If a woman is past the age where she doesn’t want to flash everyone at Mardi Gras, they’re called breasts.

Women may have itty bitty or super size breasts, not titties. Titties are for cows.

BTW, an accept alternative, particularly if you’re caribbean is bubbies. LOL. LOL.

The recap: last week was a slow event week but July 4th wound up being surprisingly fly. Went to the movies, spent the afternoon at the park, changed clothes and went to a rooftop party to watch fireworks. Pity it was raining heavy…and I was in an all white dress. After, party at Amalia House…quite swank…shout out to LS, DH, WE. The remainder of the weekend, much too much hanging out (more than I care to describe but shout out to LS again and EP and crew for rocking hard). Staying in last night was definitely the move ☺. Hope your weekend was just as lovely…

On tap this week: Not a damn thing.

Lata Lovelies,
Betsy Ice

TINKER TOODLE FIXED THE WATER

For a while, the water pressure in my bathroom sink has been terrible – a smidgeon above a trickle. Now that it’s summer, this has become a major issue so I called my landlord. This man fixes EVERYTHING. Pipe busted? No need to call a plumber…he came with a book bag full of tools and trinkets and tinkered with that pipe until it worked. There is something a little strange about a grown man with a book bag...strapped on one shoulder circa 1988.

No heat? No problem. Insert a key and start banging on it until it works.

Today, he went in the bathroom and twisted and turned knobs until the water flowed properly. To salute him and all the do-it-myself-cheaper-than-cheap landlords, I officially dub them Tinker Toodles.

On tap – properly running water. :-)

This week – Yo! Friday is 4th of July. Anyone down for a semi-impromptu picnic? We get to a Brooklyn park early (9 am folks to get a spot), everyone bring something (food, drinks, utensils, plates, cups, hammock, badminton, football, whatever) and chill for a few hours. Get in early, get our grill on and be out early enough to go eat again at someone else cookout – you know folks will call on the ‘spur’… Holla if you’re interested. To my traveling folks with big money yo, be safe and enjoy.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice