AFFECTIONATE TERM

Walking home in my newly gentrified area (remember back in the day the term was “mixed”?), a brother hollered at a white woman saying, “Whaddup Snow Bunny?! I can give you love too.” I was quite amused by his comment though I knew he could have been more tactful in his hollering. But sometimes, that’s how the “around the way” guys do things.

My neighborhood, which used to be inhabited primary by little old black women who lived in their house with their grand and great-grandchildren, changed. The faces moving in are more like Wonder Bread - and not the whole wheat kind either.

As Snow Bunny continued her walk home she commented to her friends, “Why would I listen to anyone who calls me by the color of my skin?” I don’t know how white guys holler at white chicks – do they even call it hollering? – but that is how brothers get down sometimes. This brother’s let-me-get-your-attention tactics wasn’t completely about her skin color (okay, the snow part), but when was bunny exclusive to white women? If this man was speaking to a sister, using some similar awkwardly, amusing but mildly insensitive comment, it probably would have sounded like, “Hey Thickness” or “My African princess/queen, I could be your king.” For women walking down Church, Nostrand, Flatbush or Utica Avenues, the line would sound more like, “Come yah Sweetness,” or “Dahlin (followed by a wink)'” or a rendition of Beenie Man's "Girls Dem Sugar."

The fact is, some men will try to approach a woman no matter what skin color she is. Snow Bunny was in this man's line of vision and he had nothing to lose by trying to verbally get her attention. Racial slurs of any kind are unacceptable but Snow Bunny...there's something comical about it. I wonder how Snow Bunny would have reacted to, “Girl, you are a fine piece of chocolate. White chocolate.” ☺

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

The recap : cookout in LI (just finished eating the leftovers), another screening of Sex in the City (that movie was more funny the second time around).

On tap: amusement park with a crop of fine men in sports. Oh yeah! My sport is looking…I’m inspired to pull out my “Carrie” Single in the City… at a park ☺ Kidding…

AN EX FRIENDSHIP- POSSIBLE?

Note: Not a picture of my ex. Details of who these dudes are, below.

Under certain circumstances, I believe it makes sense to be friends, or at least amicable with an ex spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/partner. For instance, if the chick is baby mom’s, keep the peace and be cool with her - and vice versa for the Mr. Baby Daddy of the Year. Say you own property or have a business together; it would be a good idea to be civil until you can claim everything yourself. Kidding…sort of.

Now, there are instances outside of the aforementioned that friendships with exes are permissible. One ex (from back in the day) and I are good friends. So chummy that if I knew a little lovely lady, I would hook him up with her. We talk occasionally and may even PLATONICALLY link up. Diddy, we’re overdue dinner ☺

The story: Betsy’s ex whom she has no valid reason to call friend, “reached out to see how things are going.” Needless to say, I’m a tad wary of his actions. Granted, we broke up a while ago and I no longer have any animosity towards him but I certainly can’t see the relevance in a friendship, especially now. Theoretically, if I saw the brother walking down the street, I would exchange pleasantries but I am certainly not keeping his info top of mind or inviting him to one of my Sunday brunches.

What bothers me more than him “reaching out” which I can tolerate for 9.5 minutes, is the fact that he’s married. I mean, when his wife says, “Honey, how was your day? Anything new and exciting?” Does he reply, “Why yes. I called my ex. Again. You know, the one I was with shortly before I married you?” LOL. Honestly people, it just seems a bit strange. If ol’ girl and I knew each other – say we attended the same university or was in a six-degree of separation friendship circle, it would seem more um, reasonable?

I’m not calling my ex, a cheater; just questioning his motives for wanting to “continue/develop” a friendship. Holler with your thoughts or if you’ve ever been in this situation. He’s not even a platonic friend trying to cupcake!

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

P.S. I completely tormented myself by refusing to text or IM this weekend. Discovered the issue is with IM - sending messages for more than 15 mins consistently is just plain nonsense. A friend did spend 22 minutes IMing a super long story. Me thinks this friend should try this experiment.

The Recap: The damn Olympics! Usain Bolt of Jamaica in T&F, Tyson Gay who didn’t qualify but has the best butt EVER and Michael Phelps of the USA in swimming. Honorable mention for unintentional comedy goes to Richard Thompson of Trinidad who took the silver in T&F. Did anyone see that man rolling around on the ground? The only thing left for him to do was to run around naked or find a couch to jump on ala Tom Cruise. One more – Walter Dix of the USA took the bronze in T&F but did anyone notice he wore hater blockers akin Creepa on MTV’s From G’s to Gents? See comparison pictures above.

On Tap: Two words: Beres Hammond. Any takers? Will be there with solo if I must!

ADDICTED TO TECHNOLOGY

For those who don’t know, I am married, though I neglect to wear a wedding band. Instead, I have something better called a blackberry. Sleeps in the same bed, goes on vibrate and can call when running late (unlike some men).

The story: I met this really attractive man (he was Haitian…LOL). I’m terrible at returning phone calls but this dude was fairly persistent. Instead of calling him, I would send long text messages. After a few weeks we drifted off and in retrospect, I realize it was a bit difficult communicating with me via text only. I liked him but couldn’t find the time to talk but sending messages was a way to let him know I was thinking about him.

Now, clearly this can be the demise of a relationship. Text, IM and email should be a suppliment to in-person and phone conversations; not the primary method of communications. And yet, these days I still text, email, IM – because I can “chat” with 2 people via text, respond to multiple emails and “chat” with another 5 people via IM all having my undivided attention.

I have friends that steadily communicate with me via IM for LONG “conversations”. I realized this was a problem when I found myself 1 ½ hours later still IM-ing a friend (actually, it’s 2 of them) when we could have accomplished the same amount of conversation by phone in a third of the time. So in comes epiphany – not only am I wasting time, I’m losing real communication. LOL is not a good substitute for a person’s hearty laugh. The sad face emo-con doesn’t express the pout in my voice.

In an attempt to communicate better and challenge myself in a major way, I will call folks, even for a quick question. Yes siree, Betsy will not send any text messages or IMs this weekend…all weekend long. Already, I can’t wait for 12:01 am Monday. Now, I’ll read messages but no typed response so if you need me, best call. Really, holler!

Update: It's been 2.5 hours and the IMs are coming in. It is taking Herculean like strength not to respond. My friends, you are taunting me terribly.

The recap: Nada

On Tap: Party with the s’ak passé posse tonight; Beres Hammond Monday night at Wingate Park. Yes, I’m pressing this one because it will be dope (and it’s the last concert in the series).

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

ANNOYING BILL COLLECTOR

Telemarketers and collect agents have one of the worst jobs in the world (don’t pretend like you never had a phone call b/c of a “outstanding” payment).

This man called today for someone that has not had my phone number in years. Usually I have the patience to explain the situation away but dude really just caught me at an untimely moment and unfortunately his Indian azz - talking about his name is Jason Smith when I can straight up hear his accent - received the transference of my ire energy from someone else.

Sadly enough, the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hello!?!?

Man: Hello (all smiley and ish). May I speak with LaToya please regarding a personal business matter?

Me: Mista, you have the wrong number. (Yes, I said Mista)

Man: Is this 212.555.1234?

Me: Do you speak English?

Man: Yes

Me: Then you understood when I said you have the wrong number.

Man: I just want to confirm if the number is 212.55…

Me: STOP CALLING ME!!! Have a good day and good bye! Click the button as hard as I can.

I know dude was just trying to do his job. There is no excuse for being rude but grief, I was in a surly mood. I did manage to say ave a good day though ☺

Ah, need to practice patience but it sure was funny writing this post.

On tap: Scattergories, spades (someone pls teach me!) and sangrias at my place. Then, sleep. Beres Hammond at Wingate Park Monday.

The recap: So long ago…performances and parties.

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Ice

ATTENTION TO PLASTIC SHOES

Recently Betsy ran into a blast from the past friend. I wasn’t overly concerned about my appearance but I’m looking at the brother wearing a polo style shirt, pinstripe dress pants from the $99.99 suit shop and the worst fashion offense possible – plastic rounded toe shoes. I could hardly listen to him I was so enthralled by his foot gear. What grown man in 2008 wears plastic shoes -especially in the summer when they can hurt your feet more? The only place that sold those were Thom McAn and their free standing stores went out of business several years ago!

After relating this story to a friend, she posed a very legitimate question – how does this brother expect to meet a professional woman walking around half-stepping? LOL. Think about it – where can a woman take him? A company dinner? If the room happens to fall silent his cheap shoes will start making that squeaky-straining sound alerting everyone to his “financial situation.”

The recap: way too busy to kick it these days (that changes tonight - see below)

On Tap: The Live Musical Tribute to PRINCE & STEVIE WONDER @ Marcus Garvey Park

WHEN: Thursday, August 7, 2008

TIME: 6:30pm - 9:00pm

WHERE: Marcus Garvey Park
Madison Avenue and East 120th to East 124th streets
Harlem !

Contact: (212) 645-4011

The Eclectic Ride Presents A Live Muscial Tribute to the Originators 
Stevie Wonder & Prince. For one night only, Eclectic Ride is leaving 
downtown and coming uptown to Harlem’s Marcus Garvey Park . Bringing a 
reputation for ultimate musical exploration, Eclectic Ride will 
salute two of music’s greatest artists: Stevie Wonder and Prince. 
Join “ER” for a night of true inspiration as hosts, Forrest 
Renaissance and friends illuminate Marcus Garvey Park with a 
brilliant array of special guest musicians, vocalists, and dancers 
who will honor the work of these masters.

DJ EVIL DEE spinning the classiquest of classics!!!!

some of the confirmed artists include:
Maiysha
Alia Marie
Shaliek Rivers
Chanj
TL Cross
Kimberly Nichole
Raye 6

and some VERY SPECIAL GUESTS!

plus..
Nate Jones on Bass
Sharief in Burgundy on Guitar
Leron Thomas on Trumpet


AND

Garden Seeker Productions presents, Bi-Polar Thursday @Deity

Ali Shaheed Muhammad (A Tribe Called Quest & Lucy Pearl) spins every Thursday night
additional music by dj UncleMike

Hosted by Martini Cocoa
10pm-4am
Cover $5 b4 12 & $10 after

"breaking the rules : sublime beats: ridiculous energy : you know how we do"

Deity
368 Atlantic Ave(Hoyt and Bond) Brooklyn, NY 11217
718.222.DNYC(3692)

A, C, & G train to Hoyt & Schermerhorn
2, 3, 4, 5, B, Q to Atlantic Ave : D, M, N, R to Pacific St.

AND - SATURDAY

Saturday August 9, 2008

ROCK THE BLOCK!
A One Day Art Convergence in Brooklyn

Being held in 3 different locations, within the same block(s) radius.

1. Frank White- 936 Atlantic Ave
2. Yume - 925 Bergen St
3. Not Just Vintage - Bedford Ave

Live DJs - DJ Spinna, DJ Scratch, DJ GoldFinger & More…
With A Special *B.I.G. Pimpin': Jay Z & Biggie Tribute by DJ Scratch*

Live Artists / Spoken Word / Voter Registration Drive / Fashion Shows /Food-Drinks & more…

ALL DAY EVENT 12pm-8pm

*** ROCK THE BLOCK ~ Bringing Awareness To The Emerging Artist
Renaissance That Is In FULL FORCE In BK!

AN EVENT TONIGHT - ERYKAH BADU CONCERT

BUSY BUSY BUSY!

POST TO COME LATER BUT...

On tap: Errykah Badu is doing a free concert at Wingate Park, Brooklyn tonight. 7:30 pm. More info at http://www.brooklynconcerts.com/mlk.html