Constant talk of recession is affecting men’s sensibilities. Any cursory glance at a newspaper and you’ll read that people are trying to reduce their spending, worried about job losses, yaddah, yaddah, yad. However, no one is discussing a great problem – men are cutting back on participating in booty calls.
Several women friends and I were chatting and our conversation eventually turned to brothers. These women shared similar, interesting experiences – men were having issues with a purely physical relationship. In no way am I promoting promiscuity but instead, providing a snippet of real discussions. My cohorts indicated that their respective “man-friend” – whether from a previous relationship or part of the ‘fan club’ (don’t front guys, you’ve been a ‘fan’ before) – felt “a type of way” when the suggestion of “coming through” came up.
Our discussion revealed that some men respond with stammering somethings about the no-strings-attached-just-come-with-your-best-game offer being a “sweet deal” but also felt “objectified.” Oh, you want to think and feel now? Did you feel objectified while watching your copious collection of videos or when you hollered at the next chick during the relationship? These same brothers want to “commit to an honest friendship” and spend time talking now. What is there to talk about? It’s not a love-making-cuddle-me-talk-through-the-night session; it’s a get off and go thing. Conversations should be reserved for bonafide friends and therapists.
The point is that men step to women all the time about wanting a physical, non-committal relationship and seemingly, as soon as a woman steps to a man, he gets his boxers in a bunch. Purely a double standard.
Certainly some great brothers are having multiple epiphanies, realizing that they’re getting older and should build an honest, respectful life with one lovely lady but for the others, really? A man chimed in saying that this type of "aggressive woman" behavior makes men feel emasculated. Brother, please. Either you're with it or your not. And if the latter, there is someone else to take your spot. LOL
Holler with your perspectives.
Later Lovelies,
-Betsy Baller Ice
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7 comments:
I have NEVER in my life time heard anything like that, unless it wasn't good for the man or she is a stalker that shouldnt happen. If something like that does happen, you need to question the "brother", lol... That should NEVER be allow to happen to a woman!! That is a crime for the ages, to deny a woman of the simple pleasures that a man has to give!!
I don't know who these "brothers" are that don't know they've been elected, when they haven't even been really campaigning.
But it seems that you have been trying to let some squares in your players circle.
Tsk tsk
Mr. Papers
I have never, ever........ever heard of anything like this. Living in NYC, me and every brother I know has always made the most of such opportunities. I have to agree with Mr. Papers, wrong boys are being given the opportunity to play at a man's game.
Konfucius
I am rolling on the floor for this one, I have had several guys--read: more than three--tell me this same thing, lol. At first, they were all saying they wanted to kick it, and then later they said they felt "used" and also objectified, like you said. Maybe they are realizing that the grass is not always greener on the "pimp/player" side, and that, gasp, maybe the idea of monogamy was invented for a reason....
Sheeeeit...use me..abuse me....then send me home with cabfare and a bologna sammich. I dont know where you and your friends hang out, but y'all got the right players, just on the wrong team. And I'm gone!
this has been going on for a long time. men can use you and it's all good, but when you flip the tables then you become the 'hoe' the 'gold-digger', freak, easy and whatever else black men disrespectfully call women. it is such a double standard. a man will pusue a woman just to get what he wants..when he gets it that's the end. anyway men are finally starting to get the hint they aren't the only ones on the field.
I can't believe this. I'm in a committed relationship now but in my past I've had some nsa experiences. When I have cut a nsa arrangement short (Which maybe happened twice in my entire life!) it was because there was a lot of negativity coming from the woman which outweighed the benefits of the relationship.
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