BUM BROTHERS

You know the type – they want to be in your face all the time for free, take you to free places and balk at paying $20 to get in a party. Bum Brothers.

Recession, recession, recession my eye! People are going out, having a good time AND spending moderately. My friends and I were commenting on a set of brothers we know that refuse to pay $20 to get in a party (shout out to LW, DM). I’m not talking about a weekly event either; say once every six months and the dudes are still beefing saying, “No pay to play.” Back in the day, dudes ALWAYS had to pay to get in a party. How many First Saturdays can you attend? How many times can you do Happy Hour in Turtle Bay or Moe’s? How many house parties can you attend and never bring a thing except an empty stomach and a thirsty throat?

Times have certainly changed and there is clear role reversal. A group of women will go out and have a good time no matter the cost. Some brothers would rather mope around their neighborhood in search of the next free thing.

Last year, my homeboy and I went to some love-me-turn-my-key thing. $35. Neither of us flinched. I went to an event the other day. $125. Didn’t flinch. I’m certainly not balling out of control (yet), but I’m not beefing over small money like a few Jacksons.

I prefer to hang with dudes that will pay for everyone in our group to party. Or, if we’re a group of eight dining, a brother or two will cover the tab. And it’s reciprocal. If there’s a concert we want to attend, I cop the tickets. Sometimes it’s as simple as a cab ride. $27.30. I’ll handle that.

My friend came up with a term for these bum brothers – contagious. Don’t hang out with them because they may infect you with their cheapness. Treat them like someone with the TB, put a cloth over your mouth and turn the other way. No, run because they’ll try to wear you down and take you to free ish that happens at Habana Outpost.

Finally, before the brothers get their boxers in a bunch, it's not the dollar amount; it's the attitude. It's alright to dip in the coin jar occasionally but you still haven't saved a Jackson in six months to party? SMH... And yes, there are bum chicks. They are the ones that are always bumming a dollar or five or twenty here and there. The next thing you know, you’ve 'unburdened' yourself of $200 because the chick doesn’t like to come out her pocket. Treat those chicks like the plague too because they don't know what reciprocity means.

It’s alright for women to be on the free-free-frugal-frugal tip (especially with each other) but a brother? Nope. Bum. LOL. Yup, double standard.

More fiyah! More fiyah!

Lata Lovelies,
-Betsy Baller Ice