BAD BREATH

Have you ever started talking to someone and immediately their breath burned your nostrils? Well that happened to Betsy today. It’s one thing when someone is talking to you and his or her breath is foul but the ultimate tragedy is when the person asks a question and you open your mouth to respond - letting the toxic odor permeate your mouth. Then, their breath is so odiferous, heavy and tart, it seems to land on your tongue, allowing you to taste hot, raging frowsy funk.

While on the bus this afternoon, this girl asked me if my phone was good. I replied, "Hmmm?" hoping that give her breath some time to dissipate before answering. I erred in my thinking. This girl must have eaten a skunk and hummus sandwich topped with extra garlic and pickles for lunch because surely a fire rose up from the pit of her stomach to manifest itself as bad breath.

What made it even worse was that she was sitting next to me talking to her pops. Couldn't her dad say something or offer her a cool drink (look like he had a bag of groceries) to douse the flames that blazed in his daughter’s mouth? And, he KNEW her joint was humming because he kept rubbing his noise when she spoke. Shame on him.

If that wasn’t enough, it became apparent that bad breath ran in the family. The father's breath was raging too!! Each time he spoke, the daughter sniffed or rubbed her nose. I held my breath because the dad's joint was like an INFERNO!!! My gosh. My eyes were watering and this man was talking like his life depended on the conversation. Talk about hot. It was a million degrees in his mouth. His mouth needs to be hosed down by a fire truck.

Everyone has bad breath at some point but this father-daughter duo took first place in stank.

Speaking of which, RANDOM QUESTION: why do children wake up before sunrise, stare at you until you wake open only to ask if you're awake? LOL

On tap: First Friday at the Brooklyn Museum filled with all the Havana Outpost, I'm-so-creative-my-artsy-fartsy-oozes from-my-every-pore-types. Yes, I may be there as well. lol

Lata Lovelies,
Betsy Ice